A Mother’s Day Tribute: I wish everyone had a Rose in their life

Recently, I was speaking about best practices in juvenile justice and visions of my mother kept coming to my mind. My work involves me encouraging the adoption of policies and practices that provide youth who make mistakes with a corrective influence to help them get on a better path. For me this means more than convincing courts to stop locking kids up, it involves helping communities figure out how to get kids on track to thrive, instead of just to survive. One difference between those who have found success in life and people who seem to be in a constant personal battle between right and wrong is often the involvement of a responsible and supportive parent figure. When I compare my life and that of my friends with many court involved young people I encounter today, it’s hard to ignore the impact of being raised by strong and loving parents. In my case, my mother in particular has been a huge influence that I have probably taken for granted more than I should. Of course I am aware and try to acknowledge how blessed I am, but when I think about what my mother did for me and compare that to so many young people who are experiencing the juvenile justice system, I have an elevated appreciation for how different my life could be had I been born to a different woman.

In recognition of Mother’s Day, I am reflecting on and appreciating the woman who is my rock and my guiding star, my mother, Rose Washington. The name Rose is quite fitting for my mother and describes how she raised me and my four siblings. Beautiful (inside and out), strong and sweet, but thorny if approached the wrong way. My mother gave us the best that she had to offer – she was a wonderful role model, a God-faring woman, she established high standards that she pushed us to not only reach but to exceed. But when we got out of line (as all kids do), she was there with her thorns to provide accountability and teaching. My mother also spent quality time with us, working and playing and engaging us in activities that would allow us to develop a variety of skills. Whether sports, or scouts, or dancing lessons, or simply chores at home, my siblings and I loved spending time with our parents who modeled for us how to work hard and how to enjoy life. And my mom always provided a welcoming space for our friends. When other parents in the neighborhood were looking for their children, often they could find them at the Washington’s.

The world today is a lot more complex. Advancements in technology and communication have influenced a fast-food, microwave world in which people seem to expect everything to happen with the snap of a finger. Smart phones and social media have replaced lengthy conversations. Communication has been reduced to expressing thoughts and opinions within a certain number of characters, punctuated by a number of well-placed emoji’s. Neighbors often do not know their neighbors (I must admit, I only know a few of mine). Everyone’s day is so packed, that we miss opportunities to spend quality time together – and that is a loss of valuable moments when wisdom and life lessons can be shared. Parents today seem to be stretched in ways that makes parenting harder. There are often long distances between home and school and work, and an expectation to work longer hours, and take fewer days off. A lack of jobs where people can earn a living wage that allows them to provide for their families. Fewer extracurricular activities offered by schools, and when they are available, they are costly.

I wish everyone had a Rose Washington in their life, so they could learn how to do their best, but not take themselves too seriously. So they could laugh and play and be nurtured, and learn by example how to love other people. A Rose to encourage them to reach for the stars, but to stop and smell the sweet things. A Rose that would guide them to empathize with those who may have walked a different and less fortunate path, remind them to count blessings, and first and foremost to give glory to God. And a Rose that would be there as an ever present safety net when life’s burdens caused pains.

My mother seemed to instinctively know what research now tells us about what kids need to succeed: a loving and responsible adult, pro-social activities, and positive peers. In my opinion what they really need is a Rose!

Happy Mother’s Day to all those women who (whether or not they gave birth to someone) try to be a loving influence in the life of another.

Tanya Washington is a former civil rights attorney and social justice advocate who seeks better outcomes for vulnerable youth/ Share your thoughts at http://www.justicecorner.com

Follow Tanya on Twitter: @twashesq/ email her at justicecornerblog@gmail.com

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What IF . . . we collectively met the needs of kids?

What if all adults felt compelled to help meet the needs of our kids. If we really treated them as OURS just because they were a part of the village, a part of our collective community. The footprint of the juvenile justice system would surely be smaller. Kids who experienced trauma, abuse or neglect would be responded to with compassion and understanding even when they expressed themselves by acting out. Educators would be equipped with tools to respond to misbehavior in ways that provided appropriate accountability without exposing impressionable adolescents to the negative influence of juvenile institutions. Youth who engaged in repetitive risky behavior would receive the kind of individual transformational attention that would expose them to pro-social impacts and redirect them towards a more productive path. Young people who warranted an out-of-home intervention because their mistakes put others at risk would receive a true rehabilitative experience in a setting that was designed to teach and correct rather than punish.

What if we as a progressive society said “NO MORE” to treating kids like criminals for normal adolescent misbehavior? Could we eliminate locked detention facilities in favor of community resource centers? Could we tear down razor-wired juvenile correctional institutions and replace them with places that provided instruction and therapy? Could we transform juvenile correctional officers into youth counselors who were skilled in building relationships as a way to exercise influence and authority, instead of wielding the kind of power that only comes with a uniform and a badge?

What if we made sure that all kids had their basic needs met — enough to eat, and a safe place to live, would that enable their ability to read and learn, and would that then result in less delinquent behavior? And when they made mistakes (as all human beings do), if together we provided opportunities to address youth transgressions while helping them learn empathy and the impact of their actions on others, would that produce more responsible adults? If we attended to kids’ minds and their hearts, would we have a more peaceful community?

All people need fellowship and fun and bonding. If we don’t provide healthy connections for kids, they may gravitate to destructive relationships that can lead them down a risky and unsafe path. If we really want a safer community, we need to work together to develop our young people to become their best selves. Individually, we may not have all that they need, but if we work together I believe that we can. If it takes a village to raise a child, then all caring and conscientious adults have a role to play. What IF we all played our part …?

Tanya Washington is a former civil rights attorney and social justice advocate who seeks better outcomes for vulnerable youth/ Share your thoughts at http://www.justicecorner.com

Follow Tanya on Twitter: @twashesq/ email her at justicecornerblog@gmail.com

Moving from talk to action to address issues of race

As more and more videos and news reports get shared about people who look like me (i.e., people with brown skin) being harmed – whether at the hands of police or their neighbors, under color of law or a blatant criminal act, I’m just left stunned. Not sure what to think, how to feel or what to do. Seems like each week I brace myself — who will get hurt or killed this week and at whose hands, and how will the public and the media respond? I’m underwhelmed by the inability of many news outlets to appreciate the important and sensitive aspects of so many violent incidents that seem predicated on race. The motivation to sensationalize and capture the story of moment appears to trump getting underneath the similarities in the issues to highlight the root causes in order to make a case for resolution.

So many random acts of senseless violence against people of color across the country are beginning to seem like a public health crisis. From impoverished neighborhoods to gated communities, as a result of drug-related, gang-related or other criminal activity, or via traffic-stop or other police-stop; from older people to young kids, walking down the street or shopping in Walmart; children in grade school playing in the park, high school kids celebrating the end of the school year, or honor students in college. Each situation seems random, each person unique, yet they share one common characteristic – skin color – which makes this scary and unsettling for me and I hope would ignite a collective call for action.

When incidents involve police malfeasance, we often hear unnecessary justifications to explain away the harm. Or the topic gets inexplicably changed to a conversation about Black-on-Black crime (as if that is at all relevant to a discussion about police misconduct). When police are harmed, all of a sudden we start hearing about escalating crime (even if it’s untrue) and blaming those people who desired to call attention to aggressive policing. When we hear of multiple murders in one city in a month’s time, some want to ignore that and focus on policing. None of this makes any sense!

Why can’t we judge and comment on the sadness of each situation on its own merit with objectivity and integrity and then work towards change? When a police officer is killed in the line of duty, it is unjustified – always — with no excuses! Good men and women put their lives on the line every day and we should acknowledge and appreciate the risks they are taking. But, when someone in uniform crosses the line and abuses their authority and harms someone, that is equally inexcusable and we all should be able to agree on that. When week after week, city after city, situation after situation involves black and brown people getting harmed, that is also something that requires collective acknowledgement. And when a city like Baltimore has multiple murders in a matter of weeks, we should all be able to call that what it is – simply a tragedy! When a city like Charleston has multiple incidents involving Black people being shot and killed in a matter of months, we should all stand up and call the question.

What I rarely hear in any discourse is a genuine expression of how we can move from talking about situations to actually understanding and hopefully resolving the issues. Why are black and brown people being harmed in such high numbers? Why do our children look “suspicious” when they are doing nothing wrong? Where are natural opportunities in our communities to talk about race, policing, crime, education, jobs? Who are the authentic leaders who can host such conversations? What data can be shared and monitored to establish target outcomes that we all can join together in pursuing?

Enough of the rhetoric. Enough of the 24-hour news cycle that plays more like reality television than sensible reporting. It’s time to move from talk to action if we want change the narrative. Who is going to stand up and DO instead of just TALK?

Tanya Washington is a former civil rights attorney and social justice advocate who seeks better outcomes for vulnerable youth/ Share your thoughts at http://www.justicecorner.com

Follow Tanya on Twitter: @twashesq/ email her at justicecornerblog@gmail.com

Resolving to make a difference in my own community

I recently read some statistics about the city where I reside that 4 out of 5 children in Baltimore City live in such impoverished circumstances that they quality for free or reduced cost meals. This means that a majority of kids in the city in which I live and pay taxes probably don’t have enough food to keep them feeling satisfied on a regular basis. This directly connects with their ability to focus and achieve academically, which also correlates with their likelihood of being involved in the juvenile justice system. This slippery slope is one that does not surprise me (except for the magnitude of the problem) but does move me to consider how I might use my time differently this year.

The beginning of every year is generally a time to refocus, set new goals and resolutions, and endeavor to be better. It’s the time to dream bigger, plan more intently and dare to make a difference – not just for ourselves, but to make the world around us a better place.

The last quarter of 2014 made it really clear that our world and our communities need healing. That we need a better resolution to law enforcement so that those sworn and paid to protect our neighborhoods can do their job appropriately, safely and in a manner that law-abiding people can respect. We also need enhanced strategies to help our youth find a path forward that will allow them an opportunity for a better life. And I believe all of this starts with everyone joining together to strengthen our families, our schools and our communities. And I mean “our” in the collective sense – as in all of us in this together. Mutual responsibility and accountability.

If we are to keep our kids unnecessarily out of harmful court systems, we need to start by building them a stronger community. So, I resolve in 2015 to be more involved in my community. To reach one and teach one and hopefully make a positive difference in the life of a youth. Too many of our kids are hungry – and not just for food. They are in need of responsible and caring adults to genuinely care about them and offer them a strong hand of support. I intend to be that for a young person in 2015 and I challenge all other adults who want to make a difference to do the same. I will continue to shine a spotlight on injustice that impacts our youth, but I also will lend a personal hand to someone who I hope to inspire to achieve great things. I have not yet identified this youth, but I have submitted an application to be a volunteer and am looking forward to being connected to someone in the near future. This is my mission – and it can be yours, if you choose to accept it.

Tanya Washington is a former civil rights attorney and social justice advocate who seeks better outcomes for vulnerable youth/ Share your thoughts at http://www.justicecorner.com

Follow Tanya on Twitter: @twashesq/ email her at justicecornerblog@gmail.com